A New Year? Time to Let Go…
Hanging out with his kid was never a big priority for Andy’s dad. Oh, sure, his dad took him to work from time-to-time, even treated him to an Eskimo Pie. That was always special. But, they never went to a movie together. Not even a lunch with just the two of them. It’s hard to believe, but Andy never even played catch with his dad. Not once. Never. And it showed, especially in schoolyard pick up games.
Throwing a baseball was nearly foreign to him. Don’t even ask about dribbling a basketball or tossing that perfect football spiral pass. Andy looked like a fool on any field of play. When it came to choosing sides, the court jester was always picked last. Each time was a jab to his heart.
On deathbed duty, Andy watched his dad’s chest struggle in its desperate demand for life. His shallow and quick breathing reminded Andy of a woman giving birth.
It was ironic how death could resemble birth, he thought while reaching for a rumpled magazine on the side table. The time was near.
“I should’ve at least tossed a ball to you in your wheelchair,” he blurted, not expecting a response. Another lost opportunity.
As Andy nervously flipped through the magazine, a bird suddenly caught his eye as it perched on the windowsill. Staring at him, the bird warbled his song beckoning Andy to another long ago morning.
It was a Saturday, certainly not Sunday. Sunday’s, felt different, much more formal…what with church and all. Sunday’s smelled of roast beef and old women who squeezed your cheeks wiping their stale grandma stink on your face.
As little Andy rubbed the sleep from his eyes, the spikes of sunlight tore the day open, slicing through the curtains like a sword,
A Meadow Lark shouted at the sky. The little boy wished into the day. It was so full of promise. But, the wiser old soul in him knew better. Weeds needed to be pulled. Chores had to be done. Character needed to be built.
Like feudal lords, he and his brother would divide the garden territory into uneven plots of land. His brother, three years older, decided which kingdom would have more weeds.
Arguing, dueling and tears ensued. Purple bruises and puffy lips were the result. Before the day was half-over, the queen would send them to their dungeons to wait like serfs for the master to return to his castle. His royal belt would serve yet another purpose. He always did it so coolly. He was unemotional. The king wasn’t angry…with them!
Now, this king lies in an olive drab veteran's home, a pale shadow of that once strong giant draped in an overly bleached, worn white sheet. His breathing now a chore. His body rebelling and weeping. Emaciated from his life. Prisoner of war…prisoner of broken relationships.
What does he remember of that little boy? Hard to tell. It’s all so cloudy now.
There was work to do. Bread to earn. He couldn’t be expected to play. His father never taught him. It was the Great Depression after all. Everyone worked.
Is that when this began?
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What does the above excerpt from a forthcoming book have to do with the New Year or leadership? Maybe nothing. Then again, perhaps everything.
We humans have a tendency to hang on to things from our pasts that really don’t matter. Some cling to ill feelings, hurts and transgressions as if they somehow continue to serve them.
They don’t.
Leadership, as I am fond of saying, is more than title and tenure. It certainly is about credibility, vision, innovation, teamwork and encouragement. However, it’s about much more. Real leadership is about creating open, honest and authentic relationships. It is about compassion, understanding and forgiveness (for others and yourself). It’s about love.
In other words, real leadership is for everyone…you, me, the neighbor and the fellow across the world. As we enter another new year, make it a fresh habit to embrace real leadership and remember that 2010 is filled with flashes of opportunity. Some call them moments. Moments are very fragile. Cradle them carefully because they are creating memories.
As Andy learned in the above, those memories can light the path for others to explore or burn their life forest to the ground.
If you have been a part of the population troubled this year with economic hardships and their volatile ripple effects, perhaps a simple resolution this month is to take the time to just let go.
On your first trash collection day, get some exercise by tossing to the curb all that doubt and fear you’ve been holding on to in the basement. Clear the attic of those mildewed personal history books that weigh you down.
Once you’ve cleared the clutter, grab one of those moments and breathe. With your breath, know that like everything else in life, these difficulties will pass as long as you continue to let go and not cling to their shadows.
My friend and screenwriting coach/colleague, David Freeman, wrapped up the past decade nicely with these words:
“Every day we have so much to enjoy and to be thankful for. I don't think the decade has been horrible for families who had a child and perceived that new life for the first time. Or, for teenagers who got to experience their first kiss. Or, for every child who got their first kitten or puppy. Or, for anyone who was applauded at a speech they gave. Or, for anyone who got to feel the sun on their face. Or, for anyone who got a little smarter, or a little wiser, or a little funnier, or a little stronger, or a little more loving, or who gave and received lots of great hugs, or who made a few more friends.”
David went on to say that “having the opportunity to inspire and teach you has been my greatest pleasure, and I've been inspired and taught in turn.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Thanks for keeping up with me this year. It’s been a life changing one for all of us. Your comments and suggestions are always truly appreciated. You’ll still find my newsletters coming at you from time to time in 2010. However, I’ll be reaching out to you in new, more innovative ways as well in the coming months. I’ll keep you posted.
Happy New Year! May 2010 bring you all the prosperity and peace you desire.
Until next time, Lead With Grace! |
